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For 16 years he played Army one weekend a month and two weeks a year. Then on 9/11 he came home, silently went upstairs and dragged his gear down from the 3rd floor, expecting the call that evening, I guess. That's when it hit me, "Oh, now I get it..."
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Thursday, December 13, 2001
Day 12
Sick kid for two days. Went to a meeting yesterday, the school called; did I know someone in his class was out with whooping cough? Pronto visit to doc; ordinary crud. Holding an open house this weekend. Thought about canning it but decided it would force me into dealing with the fall-out of spending ten days at my mother-in-law's while she recuperated from major surgery, then Chris calling me to say, "I've been called up." Clothes everywhere, desk totally disorganized, floors a mess, not a pretty sight. Spent an hour last night just folding laundry. Started Zak in wrestling to keep him busy. Need to figure out something for Amanda; she wants to learn tae kwon do. Went to the studio that offers it and was it expensive! Will check into the option offered through the rec comm. Talked to the wife of one of Chris's compadres. She is off work due to a recent surgery and sits home alone all day. It didn't occur to me that having the kids would at least keep me occupied and keep my mind off the current state of affairs. Chris called last night to say that they are in "hurry up and wait" mode...
posted by Debbie at 1:06 PM
Monday, December 10, 2001
Day 9
Thankfully, the distribution from his father's estate showed up today or we'd be toast. I'll be able to pay all the bills down, meaning that my credit will look sterling when I go apply for the line of credit. It's probably not worthwhile to refinance as we're already at 6.25% so a line of credit with interest-only payments will have to suffice. Called the mortgage company today to see if I could make interest-only payments, which would save $300/month. Insulating the house is going to run $1-2K but should pay for itself quickly with the cost of energy these days. The two roof repair bids were $12K, gotta get some more bids. I wonder if the "mobilized military member" discount can be obtained...
posted by Debbie at 11:34 AM
Day 5
Chris called at 6 last night and was home at 8:30. They have been “cut away” for the weekend; he will return on Sunday and drive his truck down (lots of whining about mobility ;-) They are going to Ft. Knox on Monday, presumably for training/briefing. The other rumor is that they will be cut away for a couple of days at Christmas but that there will be travel restrictions, so northern Michigan may be out of the question, unfortunately. His mom is already there and his brother/family are coming in from Philly but we will stay here if he cannot travel.
Day 4
To Do list item #14: get back in to your exercise routine. Went to the Y again today. It’s been a while since I’ve been two days in a row. Anything to keep the angst levels low and the energy levels high. I don’t think you truly appreciate how much a spouse comes in handy (particularly a techno-geek ;-) until you have to do things like re-program the thermostat to set it lower, start the humidifier, get better output from the new inkjet (I am trying to send a Christmas letter with a picture of the family taken last weekend with Chris in full cammy, including his beloved Ranger beret). Money is a concern: I will get a paycheck tomorrow from two days of work last week, then I don’t know when military pay will kick in, how much it will be, etc. We had Christmas before Chris left and that was bought on credit, which will certainly come back to haunt me in 2002…
Day 3
Got my To Do list together yesterday and started working my way down it today, soliciting bids to get the insulation blown in. Anything to reduce costs; I may ask the mortgage company to defer interest payments (or is it principal?) until he gets back. Chris’s employer agreed to pay the employer portion of his health care if I pick up the employee cost (almost $200/month) for the next six months. After that, who knows? The hidden cost of health care is now evident. Not meaning to whine, but some people’s employers not only pay for health care, they pay the difference between military pay and civilian pay. Got Chris a nice long-sleeved shirt at Sam’s for $6: These Colors Don’t Run. I find myself being laser-focused in an effort to keep reality at bay; a year or more of single parenthood looms large. When I was at the base last week, I was feeling sorry for the women who are being left with little kids for a year. At least mine are at the age where they can be left alone for a couple of hours, dress themselves, get a drink/snack, even make a basic meal if the need arises.
Day 1
Amanda’s 12th birthday. I got up at 3:30 this morning, made coffee and a fried egg sandwich for Chris and kissed him goodbye, possibly for as much as a year, maybe longer. The last several days have been surreal, gathering up the necessary things he needs, taking his uniforms to the dry cleaners to have badges properly sewn on (as I don’t sew and don’t care to learn right now ;-), locating the wills and power of attorney documents, so many details to attend to, so little time. I proposed, and he agreed, that I would negotiate a line of credit to finish the house; the roof is leaking and it needs to be sided. Have to get the ball rolling on quotes. I called his employer to see if they would carry health insurance in his absence. Last week when I inquired it was, “Sure, we’ll continue to carry it if you pay the $400/month premium.” Today they said, “We will try to work something out.” You never realize how important things like health benefits are until you have to do without them…
posted by Debbie at 4:58 AM
Day 8
So much for the exercise routine. Stayed up way too late to make it to the Y this a.m., reading the book I bought for Chris's brother on the Shackleton expedition, the newest one by Caroline Alexander. Think I will get it for Jeremy, too. Woke up this morning from a dream, telling Chris not to stick his hands up my shirt in front of the kids ;-) Friday he announced that he was driving the truck back; Saturday night he was talked out of it by Dave, so I basically had a phone to each ear negotiating with my parents, "Dad, can you take them from 11:30-5:30, Mom, can you take them in the evening?" I have to say that one advantage of having divorced parents is that you effectively double the babysitting time available...
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